How dare they slightly change things?! This is unacceptable! I have to look somewhere else on the same page to see updates! People can see my activity on Facebook without clicking one button!
This atrocious change has made me long for the days when the Internet was slightly younger so now I will go back to the olden days:
- Now that Netflix has changed the name of their DVD rental service, I am going back to spending $3.99 to rent one movie from Blockbuster for three days (plus an arm, leg and your firstborn child if you return late).
- People are accusing google of being a monopoly at bringing superior free products to the Internetted masses (except China and select other nations), so I will stop using gmail and get an @aol.com email address.
I will also go back to using lycos.com as my search engine.
- sometimes when wordpress upgrades, I have to manually upgrade my plugins, which takes MINUTE of my time, so I will be creating a LiveJournal account.
- sometimes my smartphone doesn't get 3G service, so I will now be carrying a pager and a quarter. I will also be carrying some Lysol wipes because sometimes those payphones are really gross.
- my CenturyLink (formerly Qwest, but now that the name has changed, so much better than Qwest) account only provides 5Mb, which is an atrocity in downtown Salt Lake City, so I'd like for everyone to start sending me those free AOL dialup CDs.
- sometimes Twitter is down when I have 140-character-or-fewer things to say, so now I will just go back to shouting them out to anyone within hearing range. I hope you guys like hearing about immature jokes and my period.
- speaking of Facebook, I am going back to MySpace with the perverts, crappy bands and 14-year-old girls.
- Also, Facebook sometimes releases the information I readily provide to strangers on the Internet to advertisers, which really grinds my gears. Fortunately, I'm just going to go back to shouting my thoughts and sharing my pictures (in big photo albums or via slide projector shows) with people in real life.
- I will also use carrier pigeon (or maybe African swallows) and Pony Express to communicate with you all until I learn Morse code, flag language and smoke signals.
I hope you all join my in my protest against the outrageous grievances against Facebook. Who's with me?!
*also my www.brittanygreen.com domain is suspended for some reason and I'm in the process of fixing it. But that is of minor importance compared to the atrocities I just mentioned.
